21 Things You Can Do To Become An Alpha Male.
What is alpha male means?
A dominance hierarchy, formerly and colloquially called a pecking order, is a type of social hierarchy that arises when members of animal social groups interact, creating a ranking system. In social living groups, members are likely to compete for access to limited resources and mating opportunities. Rather than fighting each time they meet, relative rank is established between members of the same sex.
Based on repetitive interactions, social order is created that is subject to change each time a dominant animal is challenged by a subordinate one. In mammals, a dominant individual is sometimes called alpha, and the lower rank has sometimes termed a beta.
The Myth of the Alpha Male.
Single straight guys: If you want to attract more women, research suggests you should cultivate kindness and altruism.
There are a lot of false dichotomies out there left brain vs. right brain, nature vs. nurture, etc. But one really persistent myth, that is literally costing human lives, is the distinction between “alpha” and “beta” males. Things You Can Do To Become An Alpha Male.
1. Stop Being Scared
- Alpha males are confident and not afraid
- This isn't to say you shouldn't feel fear - that's virtually impossible.
- Alphas still feel fear, but then they intentionally go through with their planned course of action anyway.
- Understanding the risks and being confident enough to deal with the potential downsides of a choice is the defining trait of an alpha male.
2. Avoid Pointless Fighting.
- Whether you're at the cusp of an argument with your partner, or you are out at the bar and someone slams into you, a man with alpha male traits understands that fighting isn't useful.
- Always seek to understand the reason someone else is angry or displeased with you.
- This doesn't mean you have to bow down to their demands, but introspection can be difficult and yet it's incredibly important across all parts of your life.
- Practice it often!
3. Take Care Of Yourself.
- There's nothing sexy about salads, sleep, hygiene, or flossing, but we do them because they keep us healthy.
- Taking care of yourself means more than just doing Crossfit a few times a week as well - to become an alpha means making sure you manage your stress and your mental health as well.
- Alpha males remain calm and keep their anger in check
- A man that controls everything but his temper is still at the mercy of his hormones and emotions, and can never truly be alphas.
4. Never Assume You're Great At Sex.
- Many men get by in life with a few moves, below-average stamina, and the less-than-truthful praise of a few sexual partners.
- Alpha male overconfident about sexual abilities
- Sex is a team sport, however, and if your teammate isn't fulfilled, they'll find another partner.
- Worse yet, if you're worried that you're not as sexually gifted as you'd like, this will impact your performance.
- Getting some help with premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction and learning a few new moves are key ways to improve your sexual prowess, which will boost your confidence.
5. Don't Seek Out Numbness.
- Lots of people get home from work and when they should be pursuing their interests - creating, building a business, chiseling rock-hard abs from flab - they're content to crack open some beers and veg out watching television.
- No matter what your poison is - porn, video games, booze, weed - it's probably shortening your life and it's shortening your attention span.
- Alpha male overindulging in junk food and beer
- Alpha male characteristics drive us towards discomfort and growth, even when we just want to zone out.
- Besides, sinking into your couch with a cold beer feels a lot better when it's earned from pursuing our own self-betterment.
6. Find Happiness In Purpose.
- If you don't have a goal in life, then what are you doing?
- If you only go to work to make money that you then spend on vices and leisure, what are you building toward?
- Are you content to be a robot at your job for the "privilege" of spending your freedom pursuing disconnection?
- Find a purpose and pursue it rapidly, passionately, until you can make it your career.
7. Volunteer (Your Time Over Your Money).
- Alphas seek to better their society, starting with their community.
- Find your local breadline or homeless shelter, and find out how you can help.
- And while donating money is a great and noble thing, it's so much better to donate your time.
- Since time is a finite resource, it builds character and uses it to help other people.
- Alpha males volunteering time to better their community
- Coach, work on a community garden, teach guitar lessons to underprivileged kids in your community, join social groups that do volunteer work or go grocery shopping for your elderly neighbors.
- Whatever it is that can help others around you, do it enthusiastically.
8. Stop Waiting On Someone To Save You.
- Nobody got to where they are in life relying solely on themselves - all truly successful people had some form of help and alpha males are no different.
- This is, however, different than waiting for someone to give you success.
- If you're constantly waiting with your hand out for someone to give you money, you'll always be a beta male.
- This is still true of waiting patiently to "get rewarded" with a raise or promotion at your job.
- If you truly want to improve your career, seek out that improvement - never wait for anyone else to permit you to better your own life.
9. Don't Rely On Other People For Happiness.
- If your happiness comes from your partner being in a good mood or your kids like you, you're going to do mostly awful things, including not disciplining your kids and not standing up to your significant other.
- Nobody likes a pushover, so stop sacrificing your happiness as an expense to please other people in the short term.
- Alpha males are happy with themselves and don't seek permission from others
- You should find happiness in the things you love and your life goals. Don't seek permission to be happy from other people.
10. Be Prepared For A Fight (But Don't Seek Them Out).
- If you don't have the confidence that you could reasonably defend yourself in a fight, you're going to have trouble standing up to the confrontation.
- It's less about being able to street fights like Jackie Chan and more that you could and would stand your ground if someone came after you.
- Knowing that you could stare down someone who is trying to intimidate you builds higher levels of confidence.
11. Pursue Your Dreams Without Embarrassment.
- Want to write the next "Hamilton" but you're afraid that your friends will make fun of you for it?
- Get new friends.
- It's better to pursue what makes you happy despite what other people say than to live within the narrow channel of their approval.
- So sure, we're not saying you get a "dance like nobody's watching" tattoo on your ankle.
- Rather, whether or not someone is watching you shouldn't matter at all if you're pursuing what you love.
12. Don't Be Afraid To Rest.
- By now, all of these changes might sound exhausting and truthfully if you're used to beer, Netflix binges, and the status quo, these changes will be exhausting.
- That's okay, though, because as important as it is to drive yourself hard, it's equally important to relax and regenerate.
- Alpha male indulging in personal wellness message.
- Get a massage (or a massager), make sure your sleep hygiene is on-point, and know when to say "no" to adding more to your plate.
13. Treat Yourself (Well).
- A self-care routine for men doesn't have to be shaving with a straight razor in a mountain stream while a bear roars in the background.
- It's okay to use skincare, sexual health, and hair care products.
- Alpha male in bath maintaining personal hygiene
- Confidence comes from self-mastery, and self-mastery includes self-care rituals.
- Get rid of the heteronormative gender biases you have been indoctrinated into and realize that taking care of yourself in small ways is good.
14. Don't Break Promises.
- One of the main things people remember about you is whether or not you keep your promises, and this is especially true about your children.
- Nothing feels worse than being stood up or let down by someone you love and trust, so only make promises you can 100% keep.
- Do everything in your power to be a man of your word, and everyone you meet will remember that about you.
15. Define Your Values And Stick To Them.
- If you ever wanted an example of a principled, steadfast man, pick up a copy of the Meditation of Marcus Aurelius.
- The man had some extremely well-defined rules for living a good life, and he wrote them down not so that you could emulate them, but for his benefit.
- We're not saying you should write a timeless book on what you believe, but start by defining your values for yourself.
- Establish your views, what's truly important to you, and then create a scaffolding with them on which you build your choices.
16. Learn To Use Your Voice.
- Especially with social media, it seems like everyone feels their opinion must be heard, even if it's backward.
- While it's easy to argue online, standing up for what's right in person is an entirely different situation.
- Alpha male standing up for self and others
- Alphas cultivate the power to say something in unpleasant situations, no matter where they occur.
- Stand up for yourself and those around you and see how much your perception of yourself changes.
17. Lean Into The Discomfort.
- Alpha male not afraid of a challenge.
- Whether you're building your perfect body, creating a business, or dissatisfied with your relationship, an alpha male understands that growth comes from discomfort.
- It's not enough to realize this; you have to learn to desire the discomfort that comes along with improving yourself.
- Our brains are hardwired to desire calories, sexual partners, and leisure and to get them as easily as possible.
- Muscle growth, education, and success all grow from the soil of pain, so learn to love the pain of growth; better that than the pain of regret.
18. Be Assertive.
- Nothing good was ever gained by going with the status quo.
- If you're afraid of rocking the boat with your boss, your partner, or the target audience for your business, you're only alienating yourself.
- Since you only have one life, living it by other people's standards is a pretty bad way to exist.
- Be assertive about what you want, even if it means upsetting someone, but at the same time, don't mistake this as a license to be boorish or rude.
- Basically if improving yourself bothers your partner or friends, then they're not rooting for you anyway.
19. Don't Be A Nice Guy.
- Alpha males are kind and helpful to other people because they truly care about them.
- Betas or "nice guys" only appear nice to get something in return, or because they fear other people being mean to them.
20. Be Self-Reliant.
- Alpha male is confident in his independence.
- Alphas find inward strength to move forward, even when things are difficult.
- Understand that even if everything falls apart, you can rely on your intellect and will to change your life for the better.
- Don't check to see if you're on the right path by looking to other people, that's what beta males would do; figure it out yourself.
21. Stop Asking Yourself "How To Become An Alpha Male"
- When you started reading this article, you likely had a preconceived notion of what being "alpha" means, and it was probably based on external cues rather than inborn confidence.
- Understand that being alpha means controlling your destiny and forging your path.
The Key Points
Being alpha has nothing to do with how other people view you, and everything to do with how you view yourself.
If you aren't confident, pursuing your own goals, and looking inward for guidance, it will show in your body language and you'll never become an alpha male.
Beta males go with the flow and follow the crowd because it's easier. They cloud their minds with vice and are afraid to rock the boat.
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